4 years ago
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Since the beginning, my boyfriend and I have had a great relationship. We have fun together and make each other laugh. We can have fun together doing nothing and that is the best. We have had a connection from the moment we met. We are truly in love and it is an amazing feeling. He is a wonderful guy and treats me like a princess. My eating disorder has taken a tole on our relationship though. We argue a lot now and have a hard time communicating. I am angry, depressed, and sick most of the time, so it is hard to have a good functioning relationship. He likes to stay up late and spend time together, but I have no energy and cannot stay up past 10:30 pm. We used to stay up late into the night and watch movies and talk about everything, but now I cannot stay awake. My eating disorder has made me a closed up and sad person, so it is hard to make any relationship work, especially this one. I feel distant from him most of the time and I don't want to feel that way. I think it is because my eating disorder wants me only to have a relationship with it and no one else. I spend my day constantly battling myself and that comes out as anger towards Travis. Doing anthing sexual is also super difficult for me for more reasons than one, so that also makes things hard. Travis is my best friend and has never doubted me throughout our time together and throughout my struggle with food. He has been my strength to get through every day and we try so hard to make our relationship better. It is not easy when we argue a lot and do not get to spend much time together, but someday I hope that we will be even more in love than we are right now. Things are slowly getting better, but I miss the things we used to do and the way I used to feel. I miss him...
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2 comments:
have you let him know how you feel? i find it makes it a teensy bit better between you if he knows this is how you feel too.
<3
i read my ex boyfriend the something fishy website, it helped so much. i read him the "what you can and cant do to help" and all the info for loved ones. i wish i had read it while we were together, because then he could have seen how much i was trying instead of being frustrated with me. i read it a little while ago and he is so understanding now, sadly we are only friends.
i have taken my boostforward blog down as i was part of a treatment centre scam. the guy who i was in touch with was scamming us for our money from the moment we got in touch to seek help, he was a previous employee and had keys to the "closed" clinic. so he showed us around and went through the process of admission and ran off with the money.
anyway as the police are involved i took my blog down 2 days ago when it all happened. id love to stay in the bloggin community but have changed the url and gone private, please email amanda.brunning@gmail.com to get an invite to my new URL which is private.
keep on staying strong.
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