Meal plan here I come!

Last week at my appointments, I got a very specific meal plan. This is the first time I have done this at my new ED clinic. At my last clinic, I had one but honestly I never really followed it. I am determined now to follow this one and get my life on track.

I started this on Monday and ever since I started it, I feel a sudden urge to stop eating. It just seems easier to not eat. It is annoying to plan out what I eat, how much I eat, and when I eat. I rather just stop eating all together, but I know that would be giving in. I need to stay in control right now. It just is so hard sometimes to keep going when I have these ED thoughts trying to take over. I feel like I'm eating wayyyy too much and I also feel the need to go exercise after each meal. It is all ED thoughts, but they will not go away! It is frustrating.

I sit down every night before I go to bed and plan everything out for the next day. I plan what times I am going to eat meals and snacks. I also put my snacks in my bag the night before, so I have them. I tend to make up excuses as to why I can't eat, so having the food already with me helps. I hope one day I don't have to plan like this and I can have my freedom back.

It's 10AM and time for my snack. Snacks give me mixed feelings...