4 years ago
Sunday, September 25, 2011
One - I am so confused. Confused about my life. The relationships in my life. Where my life is going. What my life means. What life is really about. And I guess just what matters in my life.
Two - I know I say this a lot, but I feel like I don't matter. I feel like one small spec of dirt among the millions on the planet. I feel insignificant. Insignificant to those around me and to myself.
Three - People make me crazy. People are just odd. I know I am weird, but some people are beyond weird. Like a frog with four eyes... weird. I just don't understand a lot of what people are doing most of the time.
Four - I want to be able to be open. To have a "normal" relationship. To not put up walls because I am trying to protect myself. I have been hurt. Not just hurt like when you stub your toe, but like heartbroken. Deeply let down and disappointed. Physically hurt. Sexually hurt. I feel I am missing out on relationships, friends or boyfriends, because I am scared of being vulnerable. Because I have to be tough to protect myself.
Two - I know I say this a lot, but I feel like I don't matter. I feel like one small spec of dirt among the millions on the planet. I feel insignificant. Insignificant to those around me and to myself.
Three - People make me crazy. People are just odd. I know I am weird, but some people are beyond weird. Like a frog with four eyes... weird. I just don't understand a lot of what people are doing most of the time.
Four - I want to be able to be open. To have a "normal" relationship. To not put up walls because I am trying to protect myself. I have been hurt. Not just hurt like when you stub your toe, but like heartbroken. Deeply let down and disappointed. Physically hurt. Sexually hurt. I feel I am missing out on relationships, friends or boyfriends, because I am scared of being vulnerable. Because I have to be tough to protect myself.
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